Lizard Rescue Escapade
How do I rescue a lizard that is trapped in my basin and can't get out by itself?
Note: I'm terribly afraid of lizards.
Have tried using styrafoam to try to flick it out but I'm like a guy with a limp dick, can't get it where I want it to go.
How?
How?
How?????
Update: My brave landlord came by today to give me mooncakes just in case I was homesick. So sweet right. Before he left I told him about my lizard problem but not before I instructed that the soon-to-be-homeless lizard was not to be hurt/killed in the process. Oh, did I mention he asked if I was actually trying to rear(养), in the pet kindof way rear, the lizard. Got me there. While he gamely used a plastic bag and his bare hands to capture the slippery fella, I was standing my the kitchen doorway peeking in horror-fear. Three minutes later, my landlord was triumph. He deducted (very smart hor) that I was afraid of the lizard and then proceeded to demonstrate/ gross me out by scratching the underbelly of the lizard like a really mini-mini-mini puppy; with eyes at the side of its face. Then my landlord left and I was left to clear up the shit. Literally. Three tiny turds in my basin.
posted by Chinogypsie @ 3:21 AM
2 Comments:
heh - and you thought that this might have been me again! mebbe i should be really angry - how dare you think that.
could say a thousand other snappy things about the horrendous way you have expressed yourself in this last instalment but will save it, and just be happy at the happy ending to the horror story. though i think you dun wanna know what the landlord did with the bag after he left the apartment. think about it. what would a self respecting chinese landlord do with an intruder like that meh?
you couldn't ask for a better landlord!
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