I hate you

Written to DL, customized from the move "10 things I hate about you":

I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you don't let me cut your
hair. I hate the way you take hold of the remote control and 'allow'
me to watch shows you want to watch. I hate it when you stare. I hate
your big ugly black leather shoes (you know which one!). And the way
you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick-- it even makes
me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you make
plans without me. I hate it when you make me laugh -- even worse if
you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that
you didnt call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - - not
even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.