Explaining irrationality

me: can u explain to me why i like him? feels so ir­ra­tion­al

D: what has ration got to do with this, miss?
i would be worried if there were indeed rational reasons
cos it would mean you were not ms yan anymore
suddenly turned from yan to Rational person 1 if you know what i mean

me: ahahahha

D: so you do know what i mean

me: but if u like someone it must be for some qualities right?

D: you like him cos he is ...
cos he is .....
jus so mad­den­ingly right
just so easy to like
just so easy to talk to
just so easy to be around
to hold hands with

me: but sometimes i wonder if just enough to like him ....yeah like that

D: to cuddle up to

me: but is that right?

D: not only is that right
it is the only thing that matters
if not got that, then got nothing
if got that, then need nothing else
someone like that, one can love for life
if he is indeed all of that
that i dunno
that only you can say
he made me a bit mad with his stupid in­de­cision
and moronic com­par­is­on
but what do i know
not much
seems clear you cannot get him out of your kitty mind

me: well ap­par­ently the girl went to look for him on thursday

D: despite your trying hard to get angry at him
wah rao
yah but that means little
she probably wants to reject him again
tease him a bit
some gers are liddat
as are some guys

me: so am i default choice?

D: they miss the attention
ms yan, some­times, arh, just sometimes
what matters to you matters more than what matters to him
so never mind if default choice, or rebound or got no other option or whatever
if he is right for you
then worth fighting for

me: but i don't want to be default choice

D: but ms yan that is thinking of the past
not of the future

me: how do you even know what is right...maybe it's just an illusion

D: well, then yah
we know nothing at all
and may as well die
mebbe it is indeed all an illusion
ever­yth­ing in this world
this great line in that moviea bout schizo­phrenia i told you about
the schizo ger asks her step sister
how would you feel if i told you were not really a physics prof?
that it was all make believe
but as long as we are not in that philo­soph­ic­al realm
as long as we still got craving for durian
still wanna go visit india again sometime
and mebbe even blog about it this time
then we are on plain old earth
where it is all too real
painfully real
not many choices
and all are real choices
you have seena lot of the world oredy
had preggie scare even
seen, hugged, kissed many guys (ok i ex­ag­ger­ate that a bit)
so if anyone knows real, you do
you do now, or you never will

*brain ticking, coils turning, too much to think about*
It would be so nice if my life could be compartmentalized when one could be sure what colour is each emotion and code it nicely in a file box