给我机会疼妳

I would say I have the best of both worlds. Being the only child for most of my teenage years because my sister had already moved out. Yet, now when we both know better, enjoy each other alot more, especially after skipping most cat fights.

Not living with her wasn't a situation by choice, but it's over, everyone's shed enough tears about this. 一秒的安慰, 是那思念的滋味. When I was in college, found out through my aunt my sister's address and started writing letters. At that time email was not yet de rigeur (till today my heart skips a beat when I receive something handwritten). We exchanged plentiful cutesey stickers, envelopes, scented papers with plenty of angst, regret, all those lost years. We never judged each other for our choices. She would, as big sisters always do, tell me what she thought best in the gentlest handwriting. Now, I would insist over the phone that she stop being such a pushover and visit the parental units more :P

She has her own family now, her own life. Letters are less frequent, so are the phone calls. But we always end up talking for a few hours everytime we get a chance. Though I have to say, my sister and I are not the typical type of sisters. We're not related by blood at all. We're treated differently by our parents, not because she's adopted and I'm not. Simply because, well...my sister wants simple the kind of happiness that did not fit in with what my parents thought was best for her. That, we're exactly the same - just wanting a life that is totally ours. With all its imperfections, misaligned lines and smudged colours.

The only kind of jewellery I wear are the ones given by family. Before I came to Shanghai my sister gave me a pendant with three tiny diamonds for Christmas. First time I carefully took it out to wear, the necklace broke. Was so painful losing the pendant I just had to get it replaced. I must have went to four to five Lee Hwa outlets before finding the same one. This year, she gave me an Anne Geddes santa baby - creepy as hell having a baby looking figure sitting on my desk - but it's still within sight. While her present is still in my drawer unsent...

Yesterday, aunt called, my sister is pregnant again. She didn't want to tell me till she was sure. 一秒的安慰, 是我爱妳的滋味. The last time her joys and pain was only through letters. This time, I'll be able to be there.