puke-inducing

After taking care of M the past 2 days, I realised how tiring and helpless it's like taking care of someone ill. Tiring mentally to think about ways to make them feel better plus entertain them and helpless, not to be able to soothe their pain. Except by standing by with a sorry-you're-hurting-look accompanied by frequent stroking/ patting of stomach/ shoulder, depending on where it hurts more. For the first time, I actually cooked porridge for someone else! Usually I'm relegated to the aww-u feeling better-ok buhbye you rest well-girlfriend role, but suddenly fully thrust into aww-anything else I can get you-friend role brings it to a whole new level. The intensity of caring for someone else when there's nothing more meant into the relationship is something new to me - so seemingly selfless that it's puke inducingly sweet. Unfortunately, contact breeds feelings. If I do go back to home today to take care of M, I am afraid that my mind may wire itself to think that it means more than it should. Or not. But I am not staying around to find out the answer, avoidance is the key.